Hoss: Picture
Wilford Brimley (the old mustachioed guy who does Quaker Oats commercials
on TV, and who played in the movie “Cocoon”) about 20 years younger, then
add to that comedian Don Rickles’s quick mind and ability to insult people
without offending them,and you get
a picture of Hoss.
Hoss
has a heart of gold and also is an original owner of Camp Six Pack. He
hunts (or at least he says he does, but the other members of the group
have caught him dozing on the tree stand at least 28 times), he’s the camp
cook(and he’s damn good at it),
and he’s the camp comedian.
Hoss
and Steve are best friends and often share the biggest load in maintaining
the buggies. Hoss often kids Dom and tells Dom that he keeps taking him
out to the ‘glades hoping he’ll either die or get lost. But, as Hoss puts
it, “The old fart keeps finding his way back to camp from the woods, and
we’re stuck with him for another season”.
Dom
is a little skiddish about Hoss preparing the meals at camp right after
Hoss has completed a repair operation on the buggy. One day, Hoss’s hands
were full of grease and his fingernails were clogged with it. Hoss said
to Dom, “Well, I think I’ll go in to the kitchen, start supper and prepare
the hamburgers.” Dom begged, “Please wash your hands first”. Hoss asked,
“What do think I am, a pig?”
Hoss
washed his hands and cleaned his fingernails well, and when he got ready
to mix the hamburger meat to prepare the patties, he faked a situation
which required Dom to enter the kitchen.
As
Dom entered the kitchen, Hoss was standing over the table, with a buck
knife in his hands pretending to be cleaning his fingernails over the bowl
of hamburger, and flicking the gougings into the bowl of meat. Dom asked,
“What the hell are you doing?” Hoss answered, “Quit your complaining. We’re
out of pepper, and I needed to substitute something in its place. How do
you think I seasoned the chicken last night?” Dom immediately scurried
into the woods……we think to relieve the distress in his stomach.
The Players
Continued
Page Created on 9/30/00 Story by Tony Lepri